Article 5 tips to avoid feeling guilty over doing well

It’s a great feeling when things are going well for you. Maybe you finally got that promotion you’ve been working hard for, managed to put down a deposit on your first house, or you’re simply feeling more satisfied with where you are in life or what you’ve overcome.

But sometimes, feeling good about your success can be overshadowed. When we collaborated with Go Fund Yourself to analyse the most-felt money emotions of more than 300 Instagram followers, guilt was the most commonly reported negative emotion, chosen by 23.2% of respondents.¹

But that raises a question – why do so many of us feel guilty, even when things are going well?

Why might we feel guilty about doing well?

Guilt around money doesn’t always come from doing something wrong. It’s often tied to our background, beliefs, and the people and systems around us. Here are a few common types of money guilt that might feel familiar:

Guilt about doing better than others 

If your situation has improved – especially compared to friends or family – it can feel uncomfortable. You might worry about seeming out of touch or leaving people behind.

Guilt about having more than you’re used to

When your lifestyle changes, it can feel unfamiliar. Spending or earning more than you used to might bring a sense that it’s ‘too much’ or not quite you.

Guilt about spending money 

Even when you can afford something, it’s easy to question it afterwards or feel a touch of buyer’s remorse – especially if you’ve been used to being careful or going without.

Guilt linked to family or upbringing 

The way money was talked about growing up could play a role too. If money was tight, or something to worry about, those feelings can stick – even if your situation has changed. You also might notice that things are going better for you than for other members of your family, which can also add to feelings of guilt. 

Guilt that comes from comparing yourself to others 

It's easy to measure our progress against other people's, which can leave us feeling uncomfortable whether we're doing better or worse than those around us.

These feelings can be surprisingly common, especially when success changes how you see yourself or how you relate to the people around you. The good news is that guilt doesn't have to be the price of doing well.

5 ways to feel more comfortable with your success

If any of these feelings sound familiar, here are a few ways to build a healthier relationship with success and feel more comfortable with what you've achieved.

1. Be more mindful of comparison

It’s natural to compare yourself to others – we all do it. What matters more is how we compare. In our article why comparing yourself isn’t always bad, we talk about how comparison can actually be useful when it helps you learn what you value or what you want to work towards.

The problem is when it turns into pressure or self-doubt. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and assume they’re doing better, especially if we’re seeing all of their highlights on social media.

Instead of comparing the big picture, try being a bit more selective about what you focus on. Ask yourself: is this helpful, or is it making me feel worse? If it’s the latter, it’s okay to step back and refocus on your own goals. Your version of doing well doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s and it should be the one that’s most important to you.

If comparison is something you often find yourself struggling with, you might also want to tune in to the Money:Mindshift podcast episode ‘how to compare’ with our expert Dr Tom Mathar. Available now on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

2. Remind yourself you’re allowed to do well

Guilt can creep in when success feels unfamiliar – like it’s not quite ‘normal’ for you. But there’s no rule that says you have to stay small or hold yourself back to stay comfortable.

Doing well in your career, with your finances or even just your life in general isn’t something you need to explain. You’ve worked for it, made decisions, or taken opportunities – and that all counts.

Sometimes, simply pausing and saying ‘I’m allowed to have this’ can be enough to shift your perspective. You don’t need to shrink your progress to make it easier to accept.

3. Let go of the idea someone else deserves it more

If you're naturally empathetic, it can be easy to feel uncomfortable when things are going well for you while others are facing challenges. But success isn't a trade-off where one person's gain automatically comes at someone else's expense.

Opportunities come from a mix of timing, effort, circumstance and choices. You being in a good position doesn’t mean someone else has missed out because of you.

Holding onto that belief can stop you fully enjoying what you’ve achieved. Letting it go doesn’t mean you stop caring about others – it just means you stop carrying the responsibility for circumstances that are outside of your control.

4. Focus on what your success makes possible

If success feels uncomfortable, it can help to look at what opportunities it could bring you.

Maybe it gives you more stability, more choice, or a little more breathing room day to day. It might mean that you can better support your family, put more aside for the future, or feel a little less stressed about money.

When you frame success as something that creates possibilities, rather than something to justify, it starts to feel more purposeful and can be used as a positive motivator for what comes next. Having that purpose can make the success easier to accept.

5. Avoid talking yourself out of your own achievements 

It can be easy to brush success off. A promotion was just good timing, a financial win was just luck. Over time, that habit can make your achievements feel smaller than they really are.

Try catching those moments and gently correcting them. Instead of ‘it was nothing’, maybe think ‘I worked really hard for that’. 

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but giving yourself proper credit could help quiet that sense of guilt. You’re not exaggerating – just allowing your success to be real.

Getting comfortable with your own success

Feeling guilty about doing well is more common than you might think, but it doesn't have to define how you feel about yourself or your achievements.

Being comfortable with success isn't about feeling superior, it's about recognising that you're allowed to enjoy what you've worked for without having to explain it or feel bad about it. You can appreciate your progress, stay true to your values, and still care about other people's experience.

If you’d like to try a simple way to feel more comfortable having these discussions, our money conversations starter guide can help you get started in a way that hopefully feels more natural and pressure-free.