You’ve probably been there, standing in a coffee shop queue, eyeing up that £3.50 cappuccino and thinking: ‘Should I really be spending this?’ If so, you’re not alone.
For many of us, these little purchases – like the morning coffee, the pastry, the end-of-day treat – are less about the item, and more about what they represent. To many, it’s a small moment of joy, comfort, or ritual in a busy life.
But then the internal voice kicks in. The one that echoes advice you’ve probably heard: ‘You should be saving that £3.50 a day instead.’
It’s not wrong. That logic is mathematically sound. Small, regular savings do add up, after all. And saving is absolutely part of building a secure future.
But it’s not the whole story.
What we often forget about money
When I spoke with financial planner Dan Haylett on the Money:Mindshift podcast he put it simply: ‘We’ve never been taught the skill of spending’.
From an early age, many of us are told to save, budget, or invest. Delay gratification. Be responsible. And yes – those messages matter. Without them, it could be difficult to achieve long-term goals.
But Dan, in his role as a financial planner, sees what happens when saving is the only message that gets through.
He works with people who have done everything that’s considered stereotypically ‘right.’ They’ve saved diligently for decades, built healthy retirement pots – and then, when it’s time to enjoy that money, they struggle. They feel guilty. Anxious. Unsure how to spend it.
They’ve mastered the part of saving, but no one’s taught them the skill of spending.
The two traps: over-saving vs. overspending
There are two types of traps in a 100-year-life:
- Over-saving and underliving: people who deny themselves pleasures or experiences, always planning for 'later.' But when later arrives, they can’t shift gear. The future never feels quite safe enough.
- Overspending impulsively: others swing the other way. They spend reactively – to fill emotional gaps, follow trends, or keep up for short-lived bliss. This could lead to stress, regret, or a disconnection from what really matters.
Which one do you think you are? And, more importantly: what’s the alternative?
A more intentional approach to money
We should advocate for something simple, but powerful when it comes to money: spending with intention.
That means asking not just: ‘Can I afford this?’ or ‘Should I save this?’ but: ‘Does this support the life I want – both now and later?’
Money isn’t just about the future. It’s about living well in the present too. The trick is finding a rhythm between the two – where both saving and spending reflect your values.
So, when is the fancy coffee worth it?
The £3.50 coffee isn’t good or bad in itself. The key question is: what does it do for you?
- If it brings a moment of peace, a bit of joy, or a way to connect with someone – it might be money well spent.
- If it’s automatic, unconsidered, or leaves you feeling regretful – it’s probably not serving you.
What matters is awareness of what brings you joy and purpose You can spend freely, as long as it’s consciously.
Say you had a coffee subscription at home and usually brought your coffee into work. It’s OK to buy a coffee if you forgot it one day, fancied a change, or even wanted to head down to the local coffee shop to catch-up with a colleague. It’s intentional, and serves a purpose for you.
How to develop the skill of spending well
Here are a few prompts to build more intention into your daily decisions:
- Pause and ask: does this expense reflect something I value?
- Name the feeling: am I spending from joy, habit, stress, or boredom?
- Zoom out: is this purchase aligned with the bigger life I’m building?
When spending is tied to meaning, it’s more satisfying. And it becomes easier to let go of the things that don’t matter.
The real point: a balanced life
Money is a tool. It’s there to help you live a life that feels rich in time, purpose, and connection. That might mean saving for the future. But it might also mean spending now – wisely, joyfully, and guilt-free.
As Dan reminded us on the podcast, spending well is a skill. It’s one we can all learn. And like any skill, it improves with practice and intention.
So, the next time you find yourself asking whether to buy that cappuccino, try asking something deeper: ‘Is this supporting the life I want today – and the one I’m building for tomorrow?’
That’s a more powerful question – and one only you can answer.