To stop comparing your finances with others, focus on your own financial goals, reflect on your progress, practice gratitude, reduce triggers and use realistic role models for inspiration. This article explains six practical steps to help you build confidence and improve your financial wellbeing.
In today’s hyper-connected world of technology and social media, it can be easy to fall into a trap of comparing our financial situations with those around us.
While making comparisons is normal, constantly measuring ourselves against others could hurt our financial wellbeing and overall life satisfaction. It’s often said that comparison is the thief of joy, after all.
Here we share six practical tips that could help you break free from this habit.
1. Define your financial goals from the off
To overcome the urge to compare, it's important to set out the money goals that matter to you – and it’s never too early or late to do so.
Whether it's buying your first home, getting married, taking a sabbatical, starting a business, or saving for retirement, having clear goals will most likely help you stay focused on your own path rather than being swayed by the journeys (or online presence) of others.
2. Look at how far you’ve come
It can be easy to focus on the here and now, but have you stopped to look back at how far you’ve come? Reflecting on an earlier time can be a good way to recognise the progress you’ve made.
Maybe you’re earning more money than a few years ago, or simply saving more than you used to? Have you moved out, put down a deposit for a house or made a significant purchase – like a car?
No matter how small, celebrating your achievements could build your confidence and will give you something to reflect on in moments where you’re feeling down about your finances.
3. Practice gratitude
Similarly to acknowledging your progress, gratitude is a powerful tool to combat the urge to make comparisons. It can help shift your focus from what you feel you lack to what you already have – such as a stable job, good health, or supportive relationships.
You could keep a daily or weekly ‘gratitude journal’, or a running list in notes on your phone, helping you to recognise all the good in your life – however small they might feel.
4. Monitor your time on social media
From a new car to luxury holidays, social media is often a perfectly curated snapshot of someone’s life – but it’s unlikely to be a true picture of their financial status.
If you feel a pang of jealousy next time you’re scrolling, be proactive and unfollow accounts that cause you to associate unhappiness with your own financial situation.
Social media can be a great way to stay connected with family and friends, so it’s unrealistic that you’ll avoid it entirely – but how about setting a time limit? You could also try filling your feed with more positive comparisons and inspirational accounts, too.
5. Swap comparison for inspiration
It’s normal to compare ourselves to others – we’re only human after all. While we can’t stop these instincts, we can substitute negative comparisons for positive inspirations. Rather than comparing ourselves to someone whose wealth seems out of reach, look for more attainable role models. They could be friends, colleagues, family members, or creators you follow.
When it comes to financial decisions, think about what that person would think and do – you could even ask them if it’s someone you know, and feel comfortable doing so. Learn from their experiences, but remember that your journey will be unique.
You could support this with educational resources, such as articles, books, or reputable financial websites and podcasts that provide valuable insights and guidance without triggering comparison.
In our Money:Mindshift podcast episode ‘How to compare’, host Dr Tom speaks to expert Neil Bage about the challenges of comparison and the emotional rollercoaster it can trigger. Tune in now on Spotify, or visit the Money:Mindshift hub for more.
6. Remember that hard times are normal
It’s important to remember there might be times where your financial status isn’t always on an upward track – and that’s OK. It’s normal and happens to many of us.
Whether it’s due to personal or external factors that you can’t control, remember that you won’t be the only one experiencing this and that you’re not alone.
Learn to make the most of what you have in these times. Do things you enjoy as a reminder that you can still have fun, even with less.
Acknowledge how you feel about money
Talking about money can be hard – it’s wrapped up in emotions, and you might find it overwhelming or embarrassing at times. Our money conversation starters guide is here to help.
It’s full of conversation prompts to help with solo-reflection, or to help you start chatting with a friend or loved one about how you’re feeling about your finances.
Pick an emotion you resonate with and start from there. Acknowledging how you feel is one of the most powerful steps you could take towards feeling more in control of your finances, and less alone.
Find peace with your finances
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more in life, and it’s healthy to have attainable goals. But don’t let this stop you from appreciating what you have in the present. It’s easier to change a habit than to stop it entirely. Taking small actions to improve your mindset over time could help you to make healthier comparisons.
If you need reassurance or help managing your money, you could consider speaking to an expert – like a financial adviser. Their support might give you that confidence boost you need when it comes to money management. You can find an adviser on MoneyHelper – but remember that there’s likely to be a cost.