Money conversation 
starters guide
A practical guide to talking about what money really means to you

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Guilt

First of all, congratulations for recognising a money emotion that strikes a chord with you. Take a look at these statements to see some of the thoughts or feelings that can often show up with this emotion:

  • 'I feel bad when I spend money on myself, even when I can afford it'
  • 'I compare my financial situation to others and feel guilty when I have more'
  • 'I was raised to be frugal, and spending feels morally wrong somehow'
  • 'I make impulsive purchases and then beat myself up about it afterwards'

These prompts are designed to help you start conversations about money emotions that matter, with clarity, honesty, and without shame. It’s worth nothing that these prompts are just to help you get started, and there might be other points that you want to ask and raise – this is up to you, and whatever you feel comfortable with sharing.

You can use them in conversations with a partner or loved ones, or simply as journal prompts for personal reflection.

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In conversation with a partner or loved one:

  • 'This might sound silly, but I feel bad every time I spend money on myself, even though I know we can afford it. Do you ever feel that way too?'
  • 'I’ve been feeling guilty about a money decision I made recently. Can I talk to you about it? I think it would help to say it out loud.'
  • 'I sometimes feel weird that I earn more than some of my family and friends. It’s been playing on my mind – what do you think?'
  • 'I keep buying things on impulse and then beating myself up about it. Could we come up with a way to handle that together, so I don’t feel so guilty every time?'
  • 'I think the way I grew up has made me feel like spending money is a bad thing. I’m starting to realise it’s still affecting me, and I’d love to talk it through with you.'
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Solo reflection:

  • 'Where did I learn that spending money on myself is something to feel guilty about?'
  • 'What would it feel like to give myself permission to spend without guilt, just once?'
  • 'Who benefits from me feeling guilty about money? And who am I protecting by holding onto this guilt?'
  • 'If guilt wasn't in the picture, how would I handle my money differently?'
  • 'What would I say to a friend who felt the same guilt I feel about money?'